Wash 19
Betsy and Letty were sprawled out on the bed in their midnight pajamas,
both staring blankly at their phones,
the glow of their screens the only light in the room.
It was that peaceful, almost meditative,
brain-dead scrolling hour where no one had to speak.
Then Letty spoke.
"Betsy, I'm thinking of something."
Betsy didn’t even look up.
"Uh oh. Whenever you say that,
things get nastier. So don't think of something."
Betsy sighed. Her eyes still glued on her phone.
“If this is about Sylvia- don’t. She’s fine, she’s built tough.
She can survive Nicaragua or Guatemala or wherever
the heck she’s at right now.
Besides, did she ever open up on those
drama? NOPE. She totally cut us off, so I won’t even
give her a second of my thoughts. Fuck her.”
"Silly it’s not about Sylvia. No, I was just thinking—"
Betsy sighed and stopped scrolling. "What?"
Letty hesitated. "I feel like after our kiss in the hotel,
we really didn’t do anything."
Betsy’s head snapped up.
"Define ‘do anything.’ Are you nuts?!
We HAVE boyfriends, why will we do anything?
LIKE HELL Letty! Anyway, tell me,
what do you want us to do?"
"I don’t know, maybe we can… you know."
Betsy was visibly distressed.
"I don’t know, Letty. I can’t read your mind. Just say it girl,
you’re stressing me for no reasons"
Letty took a deep breath,
then blurted it out, suddenly giggling.
"Hold… hands?"
Before Betsy could scream in horror,
the mattress violently dipped as Teddy
suddenly jumped onto the bed, landing right between them.
Betsy and Letty shrieked in shock.
They FORGOT, Teddy showed up at Betsy’s apartment, unannounced, unwelcome.
"TACO DELIVERY!"
Teddy announced, shoving two bowls of taco chips and salsa right in their faces.
Betsy’s expression turned murderous. "WHAT ARE THOSE? POTATO CHIPS?!"
Letty, completely unfazed, picked up a chip. "They’re Mexican something.
I do love their red sauce.
It’s like sorta tomatoey but super spicy."
She started munching.
Betsy widened her eyes at her in
a silent warning: DO NOT. EAT. THE TACOS.
Eating them meant Teddy would never leave.
Too late.
Letty loved the salsa.
She grabbed the entire jar and started drinking it
straight like a tequila shot.
Betsy slapped her own forehead.
Letty shrugged, “What? These sauce is yummy”
"I don’t know, girls," Teddy sighed dramatically,
flopping back on the bed.
"I’m just so confused right now.
There was a moment when I thought Roger
was gonna gut punch me. Can you imagine me, in just my underwear,
so exposed and so vulnerable?"
"I don’t wanna imagine, Teddy.
That is the last image I need in my head," Betsy groaned.
"Me neither, I mean you in your underwear. I’m assuming
you’re into white briefs right ‘cause you’re so into bleach
and all that, and you’re giving me the vibe that you prefer
those really skin tight white brief, yeah the kind with
wide waistband that cling like dripping salsa right at the
edge of the very last layer of your abs, contoured to
perfection by your constant wringing of your
freaking laundry. Teddy, that’s really hot"
Letty mumbled, still chugging the salsa.
Betsy almost lost her soul there. She felt it leaving her mortal body.
Teddy sighed heavily, clearly not listening.
"So here’s where I am right now—"
"You're in Betsy’s apartment,
and we’re stuck in your life," Letty interjected.
"Teddy, don’t you think you should be, I don’t know, in your own freaking house?"
Betsy followed up.
Instead of answering, Teddy grabbed Letty’s hand.
Letty froze. The taco stuck on her throat.
She gulped. No, she choke. But something happened.
She felt this weird, warmth spread through her fingers.
Her face changed.
Betsy narrowed her eyes. "What the fuck."
Was… was Letty falling in love with Teddy?!
Teddy smiled warmly.
"I really appreciate you guys tonight.
With my mom ditching me, I feel a renewed connection
with her friends. It feels like, she did not left at all.
I just don’t understand my life.
My heart and mind are going in opposite directions.
Cliff brings in suspenseful, fun love—not to brag,
but we did it on the conference table."
"No wonder they burned the table down," Betsy muttered.
"With Drew, the love is different, it’s smooth, familiar, intimate.
I feel like I’ve known him all my life"
Letty perked up. "Isn’t Drew the one with the cupcake-eating girlfriend?
Dude, Clarisse has a reputation for throwing cupcake
tantrums. She can bomb you with cupcakes."
Betsy nudged Letty hard.
CUT IT OFF LETTY. You’re encouraging Teddy to extend his welcome.
"Anyway, Teddy, we get it. But it’s late. We need beauty rest—plus we are
responsible girlfriends we need to talk to our boyfriends before our eyes
shuts down and head to heavens"
"To be honest," Teddy continued,
again ignoring Betsy, "I feel relieved that Sylvia found her calling.
Whether it’s Guatemala love or the cartel, at least she has passion.
She’s doing something that gives her purpose instead of just
staying home, begging for more money and, hanging out with you guys"
"TALKING about passion," Letty said,
"did you hear anything latest from your mom?
Did you realize she’s at, we’re talking about the jungle here, in that
foreign place and the Cartel?”
Betsy pinched her nose. "Letty, STOP ENCOURAGING HIM!"
Teddy ignored them, staring at the ceiling dreamily.
"And then there’s Roger.
When he lifted his shirt, I couldn't take my eyes off his abs.
Damn. My eyes, you know this two thingy betrayed me. Now
I’m fuck, Roger I think…thinks that I’m so into him too, which of course
probably I am or I don’t know, I just feel so slutty with Drew and Cliff
and now…ROGER?"
Letty giggled, “That is indeed slutty, think about those three guys
fitting their stuff on your single hole.”
Betsy almost screamed. THIS IS TOO MUCH. LETTY CUT IT OFF!!!
Betsy clapped her hands together.
"Teddy. Again it’s late. GO. BACK. And DO YOUR Fucking LAUNDRY."
Teddy sat up, gasping. "You're right. I should."
Betsy sighed, “Exactly. Thank you.”
Letty nodded rapidly. "Yes! Go! Get those three guys and bang the
hell out of them, I’m rooting for your GIRL!"
Teddy stood. Betsy sighed in relief. FINALLY, we got rid of him.
Then Teddy turned back and came back with a fresh
batch of taco chips and salsa.
Where the fuck did Teddy got those new Tacos? In HER Kitchen?
Betsy bit her lip because right now she feels like
trashing her own apartment and screaming like crazy!
"So this is what you guys do with my mom?"
Teddy grinned. "Lay down here, eat tacos, talk about life?
I love this. We should do this more often."
"NO, TEDDY. THIS IS AN EXCLUSIVE SLEEPOVER, I’M NOT SURE you
even got an invite tonight"
Betsy said through clenched teeth.
Letty was already back to eating salsa.
"Since we’re all so close now," Teddy continued,
"I should tell you—I actually took an exam today.
Accidentally slipped into a classroom and
pretended I belonged there. Wild, right? And do you wanna know
what kinda accident happened next?"
Betsy buried her face in her hands.
"I don’t want to guess what happened next. Please don’t say it, nightmare alert!"
"Anyway," Teddy mused, "that brings me back again to Roger.
Girl, I don’t know what to do.
He seems sincere. He’s very nice. He’s a changed guy.
I mean, I’m not even factoring those layered abs, you
can never go wrong with a perfect six packs."
Letty blinked. "Can I ask you a question Teddy?"
Betsy panics, OH NO, SHE’S AGAIN PROMPTING MORE CONVERSATION.
Letty sighed, “So when you saw Roger’s perfect six packs,
is there any chance that you notice if he’s also wearing those
tight white briefs with super wide waistband, I don’t know, maybe
peeking through his pants perfectly secured on his perfectly
sculpted abs?”
Before Teddy can reply they heard
a knock at the door.
Betsy and Letty stiffened.
"OH GOD NO."
The door burst open.
The door EXPLODED open.
Betsy and Letty FLUNG their phones across the room in shock.
Standing there—was a delivery guy.
And he was GORGEOUS.
No he’s not only Gorgeous, he’s HOT as FUCK!
Tall. Chiseled.
Like he walked straight out of an underwear ad.
Betsy and Letty sucked in a breath at the same time.
Their pupils dilated. Their brain cells short-circuited.
Nose bleed. Betsy quickly wiped her nose.
Teddy, however, MARCHED right up to him,
completely unfazed. "Hey, thanks, man!"
He TIPPED the guy.
As Teddy was about to hand the tip, the delivery guy got hold
of Teddy’s hand.
HE WON’T LET GO.
Eyes completely focused on Teddy.
Letty gasped. OH. HELL. NO.
TEDDY ORDERED MORE CHIPS AND SALSA.
In a full-blown panic, she SNATCHED a salsa jar
and started CHUGGING IT LIKE HER LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.
Betsy watched in horror.
"Letty—LETTY! STOP! That means he'll STAY LONGER!"
But Letty was too deep in.
She’s now trapped on the world of Salsa.
Betsy, desperate, turned to the guy.
"Hi! I’m Betsy." Flirty giggle. "And you are?"
The guy SMILED.
“The delivery guy?”
Oh, he had a perfect smile too.
Betsy was about to combust.
And then—he turned to Teddy.
"Teddy, right? The one that does the laundry?"
Betsy’s soul LEFT HER BODY.
Teddy blinked.
"Yeah, you need laundry service?"
The guy smirked. "Hell yeah. I’m drowning in dirty clothes, man.
No time to wash. Listen, should we hook up?"
Betsy CHOKED. "HOOK UP?!"
Before she could even process the words,
the universe said: Let’s make this worse.
Her foot landed RIGHT on a pile of spilled salsa
from Letty's insane chugging spree—
Betsy went FLYING.
She SMACKED into Teddy, launching him like a human missile—
RIGHT. INTO. THE DELIVERY GUY’S ARMS.
DREW. STYLE.
The guy smirked down at Teddy. "Careful, Teddy. I bite."
Teddy, blinking rapidly. "Uh—uh—I—uh—"
And then—
THE DELIVERY GUY ALSO SLIPPED.
His foot skidded on the salsa lake, yanking Teddy WITH HIM.
BAM.
Teddy’s face landed STRAIGHT onto the guy’s exposed,
glistening, PERFECT SIX-PACK ABS.
Teddy just—FROZE.
What to do…what to do.
If he moves his lips will technically touch the guy’s abs.
Betsy LOST HER DAMN MIND.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!"
She staggered back, closed her eyes.
Deep breaths.
Inhale. Exhale.
When she opened them—
OH.
MY.
GOD.
SHE.
WAS.
ON.
TOP.
OF.
LETTY.
Their lips? Practically TOUCHING.
Letty's eyes twitched.
Betsy’s soul was already at the pearly gates.
She SCREAMED SO LOUD, THE ENTIRE CITY WOKE UP.
She LAUNCHED herself up,
covered in salsa, SHE’S technically in a crime scene.
SALSA crime scene to be exact.
Letty was still lying there.
Hair wild. Looking like she had been gang bang by all the salsa in the world
But weird, she’s still munching the fucking TACOS!
And just when Betsy thought it couldn't possibly get WORSE—
Teddy dived into her, thinking that she can’t breathe leaving
him with no choice BUT—-WHAT THE HELL
TEDDY.
KEPT.
ON.
CHUGGING.
HER.
WITH.
MORE.
PIECES.
OF.
TACOS.
AS.
IF.
HER.
LIFE.
DEPENDS.
ON.
IT.
What the HELL. Teddy is resuscitating her with TACOS!
Betsy COLLAPSED.
TONIGHT.
THERE WAS NO ESCAPE.
FROM.
THE.
TACOS.
AND.
SALSA.
AND.
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
FROM.
LAUNDRY.
TEDDY.
